When I was younger, I had a thing for journals. I bought
them constantly - pretty ones, fancy ones, ones with gold edges and dreamy
covers. And then…I wouldn’t use them. I was “saving” them. For what? Who knows.
Some grand, important thoughts that never came?
Every now and then, I’d get inspired, crack one open, and
write consistently for a week - maybe even a month if I was really on top of
things. But eventually, I’d give it up. Sometimes, I’d go back and rip out the
pages like they never existed. Other times, I’d leave them behind—half-empty
journals with only a few pages filled, collecting dust.
Looking back at my marriage, I realize I had so many
journals I started, and they all had one thing in common: I was unhappy.
Page after page, I was writing the same feelings over and over again. And yet,
I stayed. I didn’t walk away. I wish I knew why.
But I digress.
The night I knew my marriage was ending, I reached for a
journal.
The Christmas before, my mom and youngest daughter had
gifted me a beautiful set of matching journals—ten in total, each in soft
pastel colors. I had asked for them, hoping (once again) that I’d finally start
writing regularly.
That night, I chose the pink one. I opened it up and started
pouring my heart onto the pages. I think I filled ten in one sitting. I had so
many big, messy emotions and no one to really share them with. Sure, I talked
to my kids, but there’s only so much they needed—or wanted—to hear.
So, I kept writing.
Somehow, it became a habit. A year later, in November, I did
something I had never done before—I finished a journal. Every single page. And
let me tell you, it was therapeutic. Journaling became my outlet, my
safe space, my proof that I was moving forward.
And this time, I wasn’t saving the pretty ones for
“someday.” I was using them.
I still don’t write as much now as I did when things fell
apart but I do write at least once every week or so. I’m almost halfway into my
second journal. It’s super helpful.
If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend it. It’s like a
free therapist, a judgment-free zone where you can spill all your feelings, no
matter how messy they are. The following are ways to get started. At least, it’s
how I did.
Step 1: Grab a Journal (or Whatever Works)
No need for a fancy leather-bound book (unless that makes
you feel extra put together). A $1 notebook, a notes app, or even scrap paper
will do. Just something to write on!
Step 2: Ditch the Pressure
You don’t have to be Shakespeare here. No one is grading
your grammar. Write in bullet points, messy paragraphs, or even one-word rants.
(“UGH” is valid.)
Step 3: Start with a Brain Dump
Feeling overwhelmed? Write it all down—your frustrations,
your wins, the things you miss, the things you don’t. Let it all out. No filter
needed.
Step 4: Try a Prompt
Not sure what to say? Start with something simple like What
do I need today? or What’s one thing I’m proud of myself for?—even
if the answer is just “I got out of bed.” That counts.
Step 5: Make It a Habit (But No Pressure)
Try writing a little each day. Even if it’s just a sentence.
Over time, you’ll notice patterns, growth, and (eventually) a whole lot of
healing.
Journaling won’t magically make everything okay overnight,
but it will help you process, vent, and rediscover yourself. And let’s
be real—your journal is way cheaper than therapy.
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